All Systems Go!

The cyst is gone!

So Aunt Flo visited a few short hours after my last blog post.  That means that I had my baseline ultrasound on Tuesday. I went in cautiously optimistic, and the results were that I am good to go for IUI attempt #1 this month. I am simultaneously excited and terrified. As a future single mom by choice I’ve never tried to get pregnant before. I have no clue how easy, or hard, this journey will be. It would be a total dream come true if I could accomplish pregnancy on my first IUI, but I just can’t get my hopes up for that.

The doctor decided to do a medicated and monitored cycle, so this won’t be happening all natural with no meds. I didn’t really have a preference on that. I just figured that I would just go along with what ever the doctor suggested.

Step one after the baseline ultrasound was to take a 25 mg dose of Femara (the generic name is letrozole). This medicine causes an increase in FSH, or Follicle Stimulating Hormone. Follicles are basically fluid filled sacks on your ovaries which grow around an egg as it matures.

Now, I just sit and wait until Wednesday. On that morning I will have blood labs done to measure my progesterone, estrogen, and luteinizing hormone. I will also have another ultrasound. They will be looking for follicles that have grown to 18mm or larger. I’m hoping for a few, the more eggs I have the higher chance I have to get pregnant, but not too many because that would increase my chances for a multiples pregnancy (i.e. twins, triplets…). If they haven’t grown like expected, then I will have to take more medications to try to get those things growing!

Ok, now lets talk fees…

Last month when I had the ultrasound that found the cyst I forgot to mention that I paid $144.16 for the ultrasound, but it was actually covered by insurance because of the cyst. The birth control I had to take was $18.36.

THIS month…

Since everything is full speed ahead, the fee for the fertility clinic is $1200.00. That will cover all ultrasounds, labs, and the actual IUI.

The Femara was very cheap at $3.24.

I also had to buy, from a mail order pharmacy, an HCG trigger shot that I will have to give to myself when my follicles are big enough. This shot will induce ovulation. That cost was $92.00. The two syringes, four needles, and a sharps container all came with it free.

Also from that same mail order pharmacy I got thirty 200MG capsules of progesterone which I will have to use post IUI. I was surprised to find out that the progesterone was actually covered by my insurance… Even so, the cost is $70.30.

Lastly, I ordered my vial of sperm. Mom got a kick out of me calling it “Baby Batter” the other day! I think that we’ve covered almost all of the nick names for it… Spunk, Jizz, Baby Batter… Anyway, the vial of sperm cost $695.00 plus $195.00 for shipping. This came to a total of $890.00.

Geezzzzz! Fingers crossed this works on the first round!

Fertilized

Seriously though!

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No, really…

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I could use all the positive prayers, vibes, juju… whatever you got. It is very possible that I will have my insemination completed before my next post. If it works, I will have a due date sometime around July 2nd – July 6th.

Don’t forget! If you haven’t voted on the socks in my last blog post, this might be your last chance!

Coming Soon! An update after Wednesday’s ultrasound.

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

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Passing The Time & California Cryobank

Hi everyone! I know it’s been about 3 weeks since my last post. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. I was really disappointed about having the cyst on my ovary and having to cancel the cycle. I caught myself obsessing over it for quite a few days… there was constant googling trying to find reasons, or things I could do to avoid or get rid of cysts… There really isn’t anything I could do besides what was already being done. Cysts just happen sometimes. It was causing me to get really stressed. I didn’t want to do that to myself, so I decided to just give it all a rest. The only reminder was the pill I took daily to hopefully shrink the cyst.

Those pills were miserable. Constant nausea, headaches, moodiness, food cravings… and there is this little nagging voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying, “If you think this is bad, just wait until you get pregnant!” I tried to shut that little bitch up with chocolate but it didn’t work… I’m just thankful that I’ve taken the whole pack. Now I’m just waiting for Aunt Flo again so I can schedule my next appointment.

Today is the first day that I really started thinking about it again. I have been pinching every penny I’ve got lately, because I don’t want to take any chances on not being able to fund as many cycles as I want to. That has resulted in a lot of home time with Netflix or a good book, but today I finally got out of the house and went to the Tinsel & Treasures show that is organized every year by the Junior League of Lafayette. It was my first time going so I really enjoyed myself and I found a few treasures to buy. The first thing I want to share about is a necklace and earring set made with moonstone. I want to send a little shout out to my friend who told me about moonstone. It is believed that moonstone is really great for fertility. Even if it doesn’t help, it’s a pretty little stone that reflects pretty colors.

Moonstone

While I was shopping I also came up with an idea to tease my future kids when they get old enough to realize how they were made…

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Sooo… I bought these socks… and I plan to wear them during my insemination, then put them away… only to pull them out later to tease my kids by saying, “These are the socks I was wearing when I made you!” Now the only question that remains is owls, cats, or garden gnomes???

Socks

Moving on to California Cryobank… (cryobank.com) I’ve had a hard time finding the motivation to write about this because I’m bored with it, but it’s information that I want to get out there for anyone who’s curious about what information I have about my donor.

I chose an anonymous donor. I don’t want to know who the donor is and I don’t want to ever be known to the donor, so for that reason, I will never post my donor number online and the only people who will know the donor number is my immediate family. I also declined any donor who would be willing to be a known donor after their offspring turns 18.

There is an option to search donors for free, but you don’t get nearly as much information as you would get with a paid subscription. The closest you could get to finding out what the donor looked like is where the site lists celebrity look alikes of the donor. I searched as a free member for months, and even made a list of favorites from the information that I could see. When I got closer to my first appointment I got a paid subscription and my ENTIRE LIST of favorites changed!

Here’s a list of the subscription levels and their prices.

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When it was time to pay for a subscription, I decided to go with the Level II to create a final list of favorites and from there I picked the donor I want to use. I decided to buy the “Facial Features Reports” and the Donor Conversations a la carte for the top guy.

In the Donor profile you get to see all of the basic information about the donor such as height, weight, eye color, hair color, level of education, occupational background, hobbies, and other personality traits. I’ll say it right up front. I didn’t really care about the personality traits. I believe that a person is a product of their upbringing. That won’t stop me from blaming the donor when my child misbehaves though. LOL

 There is also a personal health history. I’m glad to know the allergies, vision, and hearing of my donor. I also get to know what surgeries he’s had and why. His dental health and if he’s ever needed braces.

As an added bonus, I get all of this information about the donor’s mother, father, brother, 2 sisters, 3 aunts, 2 uncles, 6 cousins and all 4 grandparents. I know everything they were diagnosed with, and their age when they were diagnosed.

Writing all this down makes me feel like a creeper! I didn’t realize how much personal information I have on people I’ve never met!

I have three baby/adolescent pictures of the donor. He’s handsome!

I also have personal essays written by the donor where the donor writes out answers to questions like, “Describe your personality. Give examples of how you display those traits.” and, “Which family member are you closest to and why?”

As I mentioned above, I also bought the facial features report which analyzes every part of the face… I’ve got every little detail about his chin, forehead, face shape, cheek bones, eyebrows, eyes, nose, lips, ears, chin, and teeth. In addition I also bought the donor conversation which is an audio recording of the donor answering questions in a one on one interview with a staff member of the cryobank. I couldn’t pass that one up. I didn’t want to take the chance of having a boy, who will one day grow into a man, who squeaks like a mouse when he speaks… I had to make sure my donor had a manly voice! LOL

I guess that’s all… For now, all I can do is sit and wait… It’s getting a little boring.

Coming Soon! Taking Requests… I’m not sure what I want to write about next, so if there is something you want to know about please let me know! If I get a lot of short questions which only require a short answer I can possibly do a Q&A session.

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

Disappointment Comes In a 27 Millimeter Package

Yes, I’m changing things up on y’all. I know I promised a different subject for this week’s post, but in light of a new bump in the road on my journey to becoming mommy I decided to tell you guys about that instead. The original topic that I had promised for this week will be posted next week.

Many people know that I was anxiously waiting for “Aunt Flo” to show up last weekend so I could begin my first cycle for Intrauterine Insemination. Exactly as I had predicted, AF began on Saturday morning. I was so excited to contact the doctor’s office and I was silently cursing the fact that Monday was a holiday and that I would have to wait until Tuesday to go for my first appointment.

After calling the doctor’s office first thing Tuesday morning, I was scheduled for an appointment at 1:00 that afternoon for a baseline ultrasound to take some measurements of my uterus and ovaries to make sure that everything was good to go for this month.

On my way to the appointment I felt a pinching, stabbing pain right about the place where my left ovary would be. It’s funny how you realize just where all your parts are inside after a procedure like an HSG… Anyway, I had a feeling something wasn’t going to go right, but I still kept my hopes up.

During the ultrasound the tech measured the lining of the uterus and the right ovary, but when she switched over to the left ovary it looked a little different on the monitor. It looked like a big empty black dot. She took some measurements and asked me to join the nurse across the hall after I had gotten dressed.

I hadn’t even sat down in the nurse’s office yet when she blurted out, “Well I guess she already told you that you have a 27 millimeter cyst on your left ovary.”

Me: “Ummm… No.”

Nurse: “Oh… Well you have a 27 millimeter cyst on your left ovary.”

Me: “OK?”

Nurse: “Well, we cancel the cycle for anything over a 15 millimeter cyst. You can either wait for another month to see if it goes away on its own, or you can go on birth control for a month to actively try to shrink it.”

Me: “I’m guessing that going on birth control is my best bet?”

Nurse: *Blank stare*

Me: “Well, birth control it is.”

Nurse: *Hands me a prescription for Desogen (aka reclipsen).* “I’ll see you in another month.”

So there you have it. All plans for an insemination this month have been canceled. Nothing in particular causes these cysts… They just happen sometimes. I allowed myself to feel disappointment, but not anger or frustration. Hardly anyone has a flawless conception and I figured I wouldn’t be an exception to that rule. Lots of people have a tougher time than I have had so far, so I will just consider this a minor bump in the road.

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The birth control has sucked. The first couple nights it made me vomit in the middle of the night. Last night the nausea was terrible, but I haven’t thrown up since the first couple nights. I also have enormous zits because of it. Ouch… But, I’m willing to do it if it will shrink the darn cyst on my ovary! As of right now I have one week of birth control down and two more weeks to go!

No early June baby for me… Now I’m praying for an early July baby!

Coming Soon! Why I Chose California Cryobank.

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

The Ugliest And Most Intolerant Reaction To My News So Far

Ok, I’m going to get a couple things out of the way in this blog.

First, I want to clear up a few misunderstandings.

I am not using donor sperm because it means that I will be able to choose gender, hair color, eye color, etc… Those things are impossible to do. Science is not there yet, and I personally hope that science never gets there. There are some things that we just shouldn’t be able to do. Like cloning, I think that we shouldn’t be able to pick genders or genetic traits like eye color. Pregnancy is a beautiful gift of LIFE that shouldn’t be terminated because baby has the wrong eye color.

Next, this post will not be for the purpose of openly bashing any individual.

I will not call out any names. The only way the person would become known is if they ended up outing themselves with a guilty conscience. If they do that, then it’s not my problem. I have not dwelled on this person’s opinion of me because I figured out exactly why this person would say what they said to me. This person is so miserable with their self that the only way they can feel better is to try to tear someone else apart. It obviously didn’t work. This blog is simply for other women who are considering becoming pregnant through nonconventional means to know what kind of comments they might face from people who are just looking for excuses to hurt other people. While this comment was the most shocking and ugly thing I’ve heard, I am confident enough in myself to know that I am doing what’s right for me.

“You are what’s wrong with society today. Its people like you who are completely destroying what the family unit is all about.”

Now let me explain exactly why I think that statement is total crap.

I am catholic. That means that it is my belief that the foundation of strong healthy families is faith in God. I plan to continue that belief as a parent, creating a strong healthy family, minus a biological father. A-hole is a self-proclaimed atheist.

A-hole – 0
Rachel – 1

Me: “I would think that you would be saying this to some teenager who just accidentally got pregnant, not to me. I’m making an adult decision that I am financially stable enough, and emotionally stable enough to have a child on my own.

A-hole: “That’s different! You are making a choice to have a family without a father! Those pregnant teenagers didn’t have a choice.”

Me: “Are you serious? You’re trying to tell me that they didn’t choose to have unprotected sex? I understand that rape happens, but the majority of teenage pregnancies are not the result of rape, it’s the result of irresponsible actions by children who are not ready financially or emotionally to have children.”

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A-hole – 0
Rachel – 2

Me: “What about lesbians who are choosing to start a family using donor sperm?”

A-hole: “That’s different too. They didn’t choose to be lesbians.”

(Before I get any comments on this, I don’t care whether lesbians are lesbians by choice or not. That’s not what this is all about and it would be off topic to go in that direction.)

Me: “So the fact that I’m making a long thought out and informed DECISION that I can afford a baby and am emotionally stable enough to raise a child by myself means that I am directly contributing to the destruction of society?”

A-hole: “Yes.”

Me: “Your logic is stupid.”

FINAL SCORE

A-hole – 0
Rachel – 3

As I mentioned in my last blog, I had to see a family counselor before I would be allowed to proceed with an intrauterine insemination. This counselor is the ONLY person who is qualified to make any judgments on what I’m trying to do, and she gave me exactly the words I needed to hear. She told me that my child will be luckier than the majority of children out there, because even though I’m not going to be perfect I’m making a smart and well informed DECISION.

Coming Soon! Why I Chose California Cryobank.

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

My Mom Shares Her Thoughts

Hi Everyone!

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I’m getting so anxious to get started! The waiting is killing me. I need to find a creative way to pass the time until my body is ready to create a baby. Is it too early to start nesting?!?! LOL! It’ll be at least another week before I will know anything more about the process than I know now.

In the mean time, I have asked my mom to guest blog so she can share her thoughts on my attempt to become a mom myself. I hope you enjoy!


Hi, my name is Cindy and I’m Rachel’s mother. I’ve decide to share my feelings with you about Rachel’s decision to become a single parent. As a mother of two children of my own, I know the joys and heart aches involved in raising children. Though I have a husband alongside me to share these experiences with, I can say that being a parent is a feeling that’s indescribable. One could talk about it with great feeling and emotion, but until you experience it for yourself you couldn’t have a clue. Yes there are ups and downs but that’s the thing we call life, and this is something I would love for Rachel to experience.

Rachel was in her mid-20s when she commented one day, “If I don’t find that someone when it’s time to think about children, I’m going to look into doing it on my own. I don’t need a man!” If you know Rachel you can hear the attitude that came with that statement. LOL! Upon hearing that I kind of just brushed it off thinking, “We don’t need to worry about that because that special someone is out there just waiting for you.” It’s every mother’s dream for her children to find that special someone to share their life with. No mother ever thinks her child is going to be the one to remain single. Which, by the way, I have come to realize is not a bad thing. Life is what you make it.

As the clock continues to tic along, Rachel now finds herself a single, middle aged woman, and she has revisited the option of becoming a single parent. When she brought up the subject again my initial feelings were, “Aww, poor thing. She is still alone!” Those feelings only lasted a nanosecond because at that point I realized that Rachel is a strong, independent woman. She lives on her own, has a steady career, and is financially stable. And let’s face it. She has always marched to the beat of her own drum! She always does the research any time she has a major decision to make, so why would this be any different? She is proving this to be the case as she starts this journey. Just as she has any other.

Will it be hard? Yes. Will she make mistakes? Absolutely, but it won’t be because she’s single. Every parent single or not has these issues. Baby raising and baby nurturing… it’s all the same. It’s just her means of getting there that’s different in this case. But I truly feel in my heart that she has the ability to be successful.

Rachel, you got this girl! Dad and I have raised you with the knowledge that family is top priority. We’ve always had a good support system no matter what the issue, and this will be no different. We support you 110% and are looking forward to embracing this wonderful adventure alongside you. I, for one, am looking forward to adding another grandchild to our family! You have two amazing men in your life (your Dad and Brother) that are ready to step up and become role models to your child. You also have a sister-n-law and two beautiful nieces that would love to have a new cousin.

Praying that you get to fulfill your dreams! Love you!


Thanks Mom! I love you too!

Coming Soon! The Ugliest, Most Uneducated, And Intolerant Reaction To My News So Far.

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

Moving Right Along!

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone for the kind words and positive vibes! I really wasn’t sure what kind of response I would get, but I was overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness and support. You are all amazing and I appreciate every last one of you!

My initial idea for this blog was to post every Sunday. Obviously I didn’t make it last Sunday, but that’s because I wanted to wait for today. Yesterday marked a small milestone in my journey to becoming mommy. All of my baseline testing and every check box on my list of things to do before insemination is complete! Below, I will list each step, my cost for that step, and my personal experience with each. Please keep in mind that no two women’s needs will be the same. Not all doctors will charge the same either. I’m just putting my own personal experience out there.

1. New Patient Consultation – $175.00

I am seeing Dr. John Storment at Fertility & Women’s Health Center in Lafayette, LA. I don’t know what else to say except that the man is a wonderful doctor. He is very smart, courteous, patient, willing to listen and explain everything as much as needed to make sure that you are comfortable with the entire process. The website for his practice is fertilityanswers.com. The wait time to see him was about 3 months. He just got a new partner, Dr. Susan Conway. There is little to no wait to see her so if you are in the Lafayette area, and you are more comfortable seeing a woman, or if you don’t want to wait to see Dr. Storment, you may want to make an appointment to see her.

At the initial consultation Dr. Storment introduced himself and the student that was working with him that day. He is a teacher so he often has students with him. If you prefer not to have a student involved you are free to request that they leave the room. I personally don’t mind so she stayed. There was general discussion around what I would like to accomplish, what my concerns are, and what he would like to see me do before the first insemination attempt. Besides the general height/weight/blood pressure, there is no physical exam at the new patient consultation. I was basically given a list of instructions and a pamphlet of information with a request to call the office on the first day of my next period to get the ball rolling on some tests.

2. Weight Loss – $275.00

It was suggested that I lose 8-12 pounds. He suggested that I try a specific diet program called the Medifast Take Shape for Life Program. 8-12 pounds isn’t much. I decided not to spend the $275.00 and lost the weight myself.

3. Pre-Insemination Blood/Urine Tests – This must be completed sometime between days 2-4 of the period cycle. Day one is the first day you start your period. – $500.00-$645.00

I had to put a price range on this because I’m still not sure what the final total will be. I had to pay $500.00 up front on the day of the appointment to draw blood and give urine. Depending on my insurance, I may or may not have to pay an extra $145.00 or so. I did have to fast for 6 hours before the appointment so I scheduled it first thing in the morning. I didn’t see Dr. Storment for this appointment. I only saw the nurses. They are awesome by the way! Here is a list of everything that was checked through blood and urine. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Blood Type, Antibody Screen, CBC w/Diff, Cytomegalovirus (CMV), Hepatitis B & C, HIV, Syphilis, Rubella Antibodies, Thyroid Stimulating Hormone, Varicella Zoster (the chicken pox virus), and an Ovarian Assessment to let me know if I have a lot of eggs left and if they are in good shape.

All tests came back with good results!

4. Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) – This is done sometime between days 5-12 of the period cycle. – $500.00 (Some insurances may cover all or part of this procedure. Mine didn’t cover anything.)

TMI ALERT: If you are not comfortable hearing about female body parts then you should probably skip #4!

Of all the things I had to do, this was the doozy. Different people have different experiences. First I will explain to you what the procedure actually is, then I will tell you MY experience with it.

In this short procedure you lie on an exam table under a fluoroscope (basically a live x-ray machine) while the doctor injects dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes. This test allows the doctor to see if there are any abnormalities in the uterus, and also to see if the fallopian tubes are open all the way through to allow sperm/egg travel between the ovaries and the uterus.

The nurse called in a prescription for me. It was 3 antibiotic pills. I was instructed to take one pill the day before, one pill the day of, and one pill the day after to prevent infection. I was also instructed to take 3 Advil or Tylenol about an hour before the procedure to minimize discomfort. My mom had to drive me to and from the appointment just in case I was cramping too much. After hearing all of this I immediately started researching the procedure to try to figure out exactly how much it would hurt. I can tell you from experience… Don’t bother. No two experiences I found online were the same, and you won’t find any definitive answer. Even so, here’s what happened with me.

I showed up to my appointment before the scheduled time (I was nervous. LOL). After paying for the procedure, I was shown to the room and asked to strip everything below the waist. I was instructed to fill out a short consent form while I waited. When Dr. Storment came in (friendly as always) he gave me a quick run through of what to expect and next thing I knew I was lying back on the exam table lifting my booty for him to slide a wedge under me to tilt my pelvis. He inserted a speculum (no big deal, every woman has had that done at their annual pap smear), and cleaned my cervix with a cotton swab. Next, he put a small catheter inside the opening of my cervix and began injecting the dye through the catheter. There was no pain during the actual procedure, only a little pressure. I was more mesmerized by watching the dye flow through my uterus on the screen than paying attention to anything else. I watched the dye flow all the way through one fallopian tube and spill out the end(which it’s supposed to do), but my heart sank a little when I didn’t see the other tube. It turns out that it was way off to the side so they had to move the x-ray machine and I got to see that my uterus is perfect and BOTH of my tubes are exactly as they should be! I was excited and it didn’t hurt at all. The procedure was very short. I don’t think it took much more than 10-15 minutes. There was some minor bleeding, so I put on a pad, but I figured everything was great and since the procedure didn’t hurt I could go on about my business. Yall… I was WRONG! About two hours later I was hurting pretty bad. I went home and laid down and didn’t get up except to go to the bathroom. My entire abdomen felt so sore. It felt like I had done about 800 sit ups. The next day it still hurt, but not as bad. It just felt more like gas pains. By the third day there was no more pain.

5. Annual Well Woman Exam – $0 (Covered By Insurance)

One of the requirements is to have an up to date pap smear. All women have been there so I’m not going to go into details. I will, however, share the picture I took of what is on the ceiling above the exam table at my OBGYN’s office. I have no idea how I didn’t see this until I was lying back on the table, but it made me laugh out loud at an incredibly awkward time when I shouldn’t have been laughing… Embarrassing!

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6. Meet With A Counselor – $225.00

The last thing I needed to check off my list was meeting with a counselor to talk through everything that I am planning on doing to make sure that I understood the short and long term effects that this will have on me and my future child’s life. Dr. Storment referred me to Najwa Dibbs. She was a little difficult to get an appointment with because she was on vacation then was attending a conference. I called twice a week for almost a month until I was on her schedule. I don’t know how long it typically takes to get an appointment, I only know how long it took me. Najwa is a very nice woman and easy to talk to. At the end of the session she gave me a couple things to think about a little more so that I could be prepared to handle them when they come up. Over all it was a positive experience and she is writing a good report to Dr. Storment.

So there you have it! My body is open for baby making business!!!  Up to this point everything has cost me $1,400.00 – $1,545.00, but at the end of the day… Being mommy will be priceless! Next, I have to call the doctor on the first day of my next period to start the steps leading to insemination.

Coming Soon! I have invited my Mom to write a guest blog of her thoughts on all of this!

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child. A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

Introducing Baby Babble & Making One of the Most Important Decisions of My Life

When I was a child, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. When it came to a career, I never really knew. Sometimes I STILL don’t know if I chose the right career. Even though the career part was never really clear to me, there is one part of my dream adult identity that I never wavered on. I wanted, with every part of my being, to be a wife and mother.

Unfortunately, the wife part never happened. The how and why of that part is not important to this story. The important part is that I realized that “wife & mother” doesn’t always have to be a package deal. That is why I decided to become a single mother by choice. Does this mean that I’m not still hoping to find “the one”, or to be married one day? Nope. Is this the way I dreamed I would be starting my family? Not at all. Does that mean I am any less excited to take this next step in my life? Absolutely not!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking… “You’re only 31, why not wait?” A few different factors come into play. First, I never wanted to be an older parent. If I got pregnant now I would be 50 by the time the child graduates high school. I want to still be young enough to actually enjoy watching grandbabies grow up one day. Second, there is a family history of very early menopause. Early enough to make me think that if I wait much longer I might end up completely unable to fulfill at least part of my dream. Third, I am in a very stable place, both emotionally and financially. Fourth, but one of the most important, is that I have the full loving support of my family.

Let me explain why I chose to document my experiences in a public blog for the world to see. I want to share my experiences with my family and friends. I also feel like there are so many people who could potentially learn from my blog. I am going into this process somewhat blind. There is a lot of information on how to get pregnant with a partner. There is also a lot of information on getting pregnant through IVF, or in vitro fertilization. What I haven’t been able to easily find is detailed information on IUI, or intrauterine insemination, using donor sperm. There are plenty of same-sex couples, couples experiencing infertility, and single women who are anxious to start families of their own. While no two experiences are alike, I hope that sharing my experience will help to shed some light on some things that can be expected during the journey to motherhood.

I’m going to finish off this blog with some of the frequently asked questions and comments I’ve gotten from people who I have shared this news with already. These are not in any particular order.

Q: Why don’t you just wait? The right man is out there!
A: See paragraph 3.

Q: Seriously, what’s the risk in waiting?
A: My fertility.

Comment: You have no idea what you are in for. Single parenting is hard!
Response: Did ANY new parent, single or not, truly know what they were in for? I am aware of the fact that there will be extra challenges being a single mom and not having a partner to rely on. That is a challenge I’m willing to accept.

Q: Why don’t you just adopt instead?
A: I have nothing against adoption, but if god has blessed me with good eggs and a healthy uterus then why shouldn’t I use them?

Q: What qualities are you looking for in your donor? And a very closely related question that I get very often. What race are you going to choose for your donor?
A: My preferences for a donor are a very personal decision. All anyone else needs to know is that the donor has a clear medical history.

Q: When are you getting the “Big Squirt”?
A: If all my tests go well, my first insemination attempt will be in September 2014.

Q: Don’t you think that you are cheating the child out of the experience of having a father?
A: Yes, I do think that a childhood without a father is not normal. I really wish that there was a special man by my side to experience the ups and downs of pregnancy and parenthood with me, but at the end of the day I’m not willing to risk my fertility waiting for the right one to come along. Luckily for me, if my child ever needs a good strong male role model they will have a wonderful grandfather and uncle who are willing to step in and be a great male figure for my child to look up to.

Comment: Oh… Um… Ok… Good luck with that.
Response: LOL! This is one of the most common, amusing, and completely acceptable comments I can get from acquaintances who don’t really know how to respond. It’s fine to not know what to say. I probably wouldn’t know what to say if I were in your position either.

Comment: (I was truly surprised by how many times I got this one from guys I know.) Well if you get to the point that you are ready to have a baby, but you haven’t found anyone yet, let me know and I’ll be a parent with you.
Response: I’m a little insulted by this. If I’M not good enough for you to date or have a relationship with right now, then YOU are not good enough to be the future father of my child. PERIOD.

Q: What if the right guy comes along one or two months after you get pregnant?
A: Well, now he has two people to love, and who love him.

I guess that’s all for now.

Coming soon! The Steps & Procedures I Have Completed So Far & Their Associated Costs…

The Fertility Blessing

You know my deep desire for a child A little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in Your holy image.

Guide me in all my choices so that this conception, my pregnancy and my baby’s birth are in line with Your will.

Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen.