Difficult Decisions


I had my IVF consultation on May 14th. I can’t say that I learned much more about the IVF procedure than what I already knew. As I had mentioned in one of my earliest blog posts, there is information all over the internet about how in-vitro fertilization works so I only had to do a little research to understand the procedure, and my doctor’s website explains it all pretty well.

What I didn’t know was that my doctor does ICSI and assisted hatching as standard procedures with every IVF whether it’s indicated or not. ICSI is when they select a single sperm and use a needle to inject it into the egg instead of just throwing them all in a petri dish and letting them go at it themselves. Assisted hatching is when they use a laser to blast the shell of the embryo to make it easier for the embryo to hatch (yes… human embryos “hatch” in the uterus a few days after conception). I never thought of those procedures as something I would need, but if it increases my chances I’m not going to turn it down.

I also learned a little about the financing. As I’ve mentioned before, my plan was to save some money for the procedure and finance the rest. I applied for the medical loan and I was preapproved… Now that everything was in place it was time to pull the trigger and move forward, but it just didn’t feel right. I took the next couple weeks to weigh my options and run scenarios through my mind. I wouldn’t have everything I have today if I didn’t make good financial decisions… This one just happened to be really difficult. At the end of all that, I chose an option that I really didn’t want to… but it really is the right thing for me, and my future babies, at this time.

I am delaying my IVF until spring of 2016.

The reason why I didn’t update right away after my consultation is because I just didn’t want anyone’s opinions. This was a decision that I had to make entirely on my own. If I didn’t come to the decision myself I would have been second guessing everything. I love that my parents understood that and allowed me to make my choice. I have to admit, I unloaded a lot of my thoughts on my mom during the last couple weeks. The best part of it all? She made her and my dad’s support well known, but she never once gave an opinion. It was exactly what I needed. So, to Mom and Dad, two of my biggest cheerleaders, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU!

Now, I’ve heard and seen it a thousand times. “If you wait until the right time to have a baby, you’ll be waiting forever.” I get that sentiment. I really do. But there is a difference between waiting for the right time, and knowing that right now is just plain bad.

In my last blog post, I talked about how the price of oil tanked and I was worried about layoffs. The price bottomed out at $40. It has improved slightly and has been holding steady for a while at $60, but that is still uncomfortable territory. Personally, I won’t feel better until it gets up to around $80, but I have the feeling that won’t happen quickly. We still haven’t seen a second round of layoffs, but if things don’t improve soon I think there will be a second round. With the low oil prices and the transition to the new company that bought us, I’m just not in a position to feel confident that my job is safe.

In addition to that, while I was approved for the loan, the loan terms were pretty bad. They wanted 21% interest! That’s just too much. I can’t make myself agree to that.

I am going to take the next 8 months to save more money. I just need to build a bigger financial cushion. It’s not just about what I want anymore. It’s about being able to comfortably provide for babies.

There is another benefit to waiting. My insurance is going to change after the first of the year to the new company’s plan (if I still have a job by then). This is really great because I am on a high deductible plan right now so every cent of medical costs up to that deductible amount comes straight out of pocket. The new plan is copays only. This is a huge improvement.

Anyway… That’s the latest. I don’t know when I’ll write again. Until next time, thank you all for reading and for your patience.